One year later...

It's June again... 2013.  I'm no smaller than I was when I finished that ridiculous GM cleanse, in fact I think I've probably gained another 15-20 lbs.  This has to stop.  I don't enjoy shopping anymore.  SHOPPING.  I can't do it.  I'm so disgusting, nothing fits me.  Even things that are my size don't fit me properly because of my massive gut.  Kevin has expressed an interest in losing some weight, so I'm going to get him a $10 membership to Xperience so we can do this together.  I'm not going to reopen this blog again, because it doesn't work.  It's too much work to get into, and I often forget because I don't use the computer everyday.  I need something more realistic.  I'm going to use an actual journal (the paper kind!) and write down everything I eat, and all my activities.  I'm doing it for Mary Kay now... I might as well add one more thing.  This is about changing daily habits little by little, until my lifestyle has changed... and it NEEDS to change.  No more smoking and binging before bed.  No more snacking at work.  No more soda.  Water, water, water.  I can do this.  Kevin and I, we can do this together.  I never used to be the kind of girl that was paranoid people were making fun of me when I wasn't around, or that strangers were laughing at me as I walked by, which, by the way, I experienced the other day.  It's not fun.  I'm not happy.  Living in this house is a big part of that, but I can do shopping for myself, just as I have been.  Ugh.  Something's gotta give.  I won't be back, on here anytime soon, but I'll keep this as a reminder.  Love yourself, Samantha.

Day 19

I'm not doing any work today, and I'm probably not going to finish the stupid diet.  I've never been constipated before...  The GM diet has made me constipated.  I feel disgusting.  Like I have gas that just won't leave my body.  Ugh.

I know I've lost about 5 pounds, and I don't want to gain it back obviously, so I'm going to keep making an effort to eat better and I will continue to walk in the mornings with Rosie and go to the fitness center whenever I can.

Day 18

Day 6 of the GM diet.  Today is more beef, and veggies.  Yesterday those damn tomatoes could have been the death of me.  I cheated just a bit at breakfast and had a scrambled egg (just 1, no milk) and cooked a small eye of round steak in a pan and sauteed my tomatoes.  After that, I knew I wouldn't be able to eat 5 more if I didn't make soup out of them.  So, that's what I did.  I ate almost all of it, but it took me till roughly 9pm.  Drank 6 full bottles of water, plus about 3 ounces of a seventh.  So about 104.5 oz of water yesterday.

This morning Rosie and I had a good walk, went at full keel for 20 minutes and even started running 3 separate times (up the hills).  Right now I'm roasting some vegetables, and I've got some leftover flank steak and tiny eye of round steaks to get me through the day.  I should get in the shower before Kevin gets up.

Day 17

Well... I skipped my walks on Friday and Saturday.  I was so exhausted from having consumed no protein for 3 days, I just couldn't make myself get up.  Fruit and veggie day was fine, and banana, milk, and soup day was a little better.  I only ate 4 of the possible 8 bananas.  The veggie soup I made is actually quite good- it's a little spicy, which I can't really figure out.  I don't think I put anything spicy in it other than maybe a half teaspoon or so of chili powder.  Anywho, today is "feast day" with beef and tomatoes on the menu.  Still not sure how I'm going to eat 6 whole tomatoes.  Right now, I've been up for about an hour, I've drunk 1 bottle of water so far, and I am STAR-ving.  I went down to the fitness center and rode a bike for 15 minutes, went 3.45 miles.  Stretched, now I'm cooling down before my shower.  I honestly feel a little like I could throw up.  Whatever.  Oh, I weighed myself when I was in the fitness center... Said I wasn't going to weigh in till the end, but I couldn't resist.  I've lost three pounds. I was hoping for more, honestly.  Meh.  Still going, I guess that's the main point.

Day 14

Yes.  Two full weeks in, and I'm still going.  Pretty proud of myself for that simple fact.  Yesterday was pretty good.  Ate fruit all day, and drank something like 86 oz of water.  I really thought the water was going to be a problem for me, but luckily (sarcasm) it's been damn near 100 degrees out and I'm mega-dehydrated so my body actually needs all the water I'm supposed to drink.  So, let's see.  Adhering with the GM diet's day 1, I ate about 1/4 cantaloupe, 1 apple, 10 strawberries, about 20 each cherries and raspberries, and ten blueberries.  Wow, typing it out like that, it kinda looks like I hardly ate anything... But I wasn't hungry, not at all.  Last night I roasted some vegetables and made my "wonder soup" for days 4-7.  I also packed for myself some carrots, celery, broccoli, and cauliflower.  My breakfast potato is scrubbed and waiting to go into the microwave.

This morning's routine was pretty much the same as usual.  Up at 4, stretch, 25 crunches, 18 minutes of cardio, home, stretch, water.  Today for food is probably going to be tough for me.  Only vegetables... not sure if I have strong enough willpower to avoid the occasional taste of mousse or cake or whatever is around.  Shit.  It's gonna be hard.  I'm actually kinda considering going fully paleo when this is over.. Nothing but meat and produce.  I know it's going to be difficult to keep the weight off otherwise, and I don't want to bounce all the way back up from whatever I lose.  Whatever.  On to day 2... here we go.

Day 13

So... Day 13 of my healthier lifestyle has started, but it's day 1 of the GM diet.  So far, so good, I guess.  Woke up at 4, as usual, stretched, walked with Rosie (actually, we started at a jog, but she wasn't having it).  I don't know if I'm going to keep taking her out with me.  She's so willful, and if she doesn't, want to walk, she just stops.  Obviously, that's not exactly conducive to a strong workout with an elevated heart rate.  I have to keep stopping to coerce her to come with me.  I can't just tug on her leash, because she slips out of it so easily.  It's extremely frustrating.

Anyway, as I was saying.  Day one of the GM.  I've almost downed an entire bottle of water, and I honestly feel like I could vomit because of all the fluids sloshing around in my belly.  Eating cantaloupe, and 10 cherries.  The water is what I've been most concerned about.  It's really hot, and I know I get dehydrated so it should be easier to drink a lot of water (8-10 glasses a day, with an elevated intake on day 5 to flush out uric acid), but I still can't see how I'll be able to keep a half gallon of water down.  Definitely glad I didn't try to drink anything before we left.  I packed a lunch/snacks last night so I'd be able to just grab-n-go this morning.  Oh man.  My stomach is gurgling from all this water.  Wish me luck.

Day 12

This morning I did as I said I would yesterday.  Went down to the fitness center.  Stretched, got on a treadmill.  Stupid thing kept quitting my program, so I had to move to a different one.  I walked/ran for a total of about 15 minutes at speeds varying from 2mph-6mph.  Then I did some high knees on the treadmill at 1.5 mph, for 1 full minute.  Stretched again, tried to do a plank using a stability ball.  Lot harder than it looks.  Sigh... the results of my weigh in.  It's worse than I thought.  179.5 lbs.  Which means I was probably over 180 at some point.  I feel so gross.  Tomorrow is the big day, starting the GM diet with Katie.  I don't know if she's really committed to it- I keep asking her if she's read about it, and she keeps conveniently forgetting.  I don't know If I'll make it all the way through if I don't have anyone else for support.  Crap.  Wish me luck.